Let me start off by saying I have no compassion for thieves in any way, shape, or form. Having been a victim of an attempted break in and a burglary in the past, I would rather have caught the person and beaten them senseless with a kendo stick. But it is nice to know that most burglary suspects are not the brightest of people in the world, which makes it that much more satisfying when they are caught since a lot of them we can laugh at the circumstances of their capture.

Take this fellow for instance. In Martinsville, West Virginia, 19 year old Jonathan Parker was arrested after he burglarized a home and stole 2 diamond rings. The victim came home to find that her home had been broken into and noticed the rings missing from her dresser in the same room as her computer. As she was checking out the rest of her home, she happened to check her computer where she noticed that not only had Parker used her computer to check his Facebook account, the damn fool forgot to log off of the site before leaving her residence. Parker was subsequently arrested after visiting a friend’s home he frequented and the friend confessed that Parker had asked him to help burglarize the home, but the friend refused. Parker is currently being held in jail on $10,000 bail and could face a 10 year sentence if convicted.

What kind of idiot checks their Facebook status while robbing a home? And how the hell do you forget to logoff? Seriously, is Facebook that important in your life that you have to check it while committing a crime?

But to be honest, young Mr. Parker had better luck than that poor fellow over in Baltimore, Maryland. This 40 year old lifelong career criminal met his untimely demise at the hands of a college student and his razor sharp katana. Yep, you read that right. The Johns Hopkins University student nearly severed the burglar’s left hand and killed him after striking him in the upper torso and throat with a freaking katana. The student has not been charged with a crime as police state that he was acting in self defense. The official police statement given by Baltimore Police spokesman Anthony Guglieimi to the event reads as such.

“I think everyone has the right to first of all defend themselves and defend their home and if this individual felt that a samurai sword was an appropriate tool to do so, I’m not in a position to say that’s good or bad.”

Honestly, I feel no pity for either one of those men. But still, it is kind of funny that one was caught essentially by Facebook and the other killed by a college students sword. Well, maybe it wasn’t funny that he died, but the student had already had his Playstation and several laptops stolen. Karma can be a bitch, can’t it.