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by TheDCD on 10.18.10  "Arrrr, matey!" If you've watched Pirates of the Caribbean too many times or just have a fascination with the pirate side of the pirate/ninja war, then chances are you'll have a fascination with 2K Games' latest release for Wii, Sid Meier's Pirates! If the title sounds familiar, it's because the game has appeared previously on PC and Xbox, letting you live the life of a pirate while spelunking the high seas and keeping renegade pirates at bay. The Wii version works kind of the same way but with a new control scheme that doesn't quite work as well as you'd think.
In the game, you'll fill the role of a pirate, doing all sorts of stuff, from dancing with the ladies (a pirate's got to woo after all) to hunting down treasure to engaging in high-seas battle, both from the comfort of your ship and up-close-and-personal with a sword. The variety of stuff is this game's strongest suit, but the problem is there's nothing really diverse about the Wii version. There are a couple of new minigames, but that's ... about ... it. Newness problems aside, Pirates! also suffers from other issues. The visuals are pleasant, representing Meier's humorous style that shines through in the original versions. However, the visuals are really grainy, something we wouldn't have expected from a higher-up Wii version. Didn't Firaxis consider touching up this game for a new console? Hmmmm ...
If that isn't enough, the motion controls aren't that hot. Playing certain minigames, such as picking a lock or taking part in a match of bombardment, aren't bad. Then you take part in an activity, such as swordplay or dancing, and all of a sudden, you perform as admirably as a drunken sailor. You'll stumble as you try to go through the motions, and as a result, your performance will be affected ... in a bad way. You'll be so frustrated you'll wonder if the battles are worth it — especially when the repetitive, non-harmful finishes take place. Either the bad guy gets his head smashed by a bottle-swinging lass, or he falls off the ship. Dull, dull, dull. What's more, Pirates! doesn't really provide any sort of tutorial for newcomers, a shame for those taking to the high seas for the first time. Not that the game isn't easy to get into, mind you, but for those younger players (the game is rated E10+), it would've been nice to have a guide explain things to you rather than leaving you scratching your head to figure things out. Teens and older players, however, will feel right at home.
There's some charm here, particularly with the awesome ship combat and the minigames, but Pirates! is missing some of the entertainment that made other versions work so well. We're not sure if it's the aged visuals or the lame-duck controls, or a combination of the two, but it all meshes together enough to make you wish it would walk the plank. Rent first.
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